Enjoy some "yellow" jokes :-) !!
How do you get a blonde to marry you?
Tell her she's pregnant.
What will she ask you?
"Is it mine?"
A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?
Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.
How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
Because it said 'concentrate'.
WHY DID THE BLONDE BAKE A CHICKEN FOR 3 AND A HALF DAYS?
It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125.
WHY DID THE BLONDE HAVE BLISTERS ON HER LIPS?
From trying to blow out lightbulbs.
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BLONDES AND TRAFFIC SIGNS?
Some traffic signs say stop.
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BLONDE AND A SHOPPING CART?
The shopping cart has a mind of its own.
What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase?
"It's OK Daddy, I'm not hurt."
How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
Shine a flashlight in their ear.
How do you drown a blond?
Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
Don't tell her to swallow.
WHAT DID THE BLONDE THINK OF THE NEW COMPUTER?
She didn't like it because she couldn't get MTV.
What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?
You keep hearing about them, but never see any.
Why was the blonde wearing her sunglasses?
She was having sunny periods.
How do you describe the perfect blonde?
3 feet tall, no teeth, and a flat head to rest your beer on.
How do you confuse a blonde?
You don't. They're born that way.
How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
(I'll tell you tomorrow.)
How do you keep a blonde busy?
Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Why does the blonde stand in front of a window during a thunder storm?
She loves taking pictures (flashes, got it?).
What does "Bones" McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde?
"Space. The final frontier......"
What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
Her IQ goes up!
Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed?
She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.
Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer?
So she could keep the refrigerator cold.
Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN ?
She didn't know what ONE came first...
How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
There is a stamp on it.
Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
You can park in the handicap zone.
Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."
Why do men like blonde jokes??
Because they can understand them.
Why do blondes like lightning?
They think someone is taking their picture.
Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
From eating with forks.
Why do blondes drive BMWs?
Because they can spell it.
What does the postcard from a blond's vacation say?
Having a wonderful time. Where am I?
Why do blondes drive VW's
Because they can't spell PORSCHE!!
Why do Blondes take the pill?
So they know what day of the week it is.
But why do brunettes take the pill ?
Wishful Thinking.
Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?
They can't remember the number.
She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.
How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.
What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair?
Last years hide-and-seek winner.
What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.
What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
Pregnant.
What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?
A visitor.
What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
Gifted!
What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?
The back of her head.
What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla?
Who knows, there is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do...
What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
Artificial intelligence.
What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
They're both empty from the neck up.
Why did God create blondes?
Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.
Why did God create brunettes?
Neither could the blondes.
Did you hear about the blond skydiver?
She missed the Earth!
Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
She missed.
What is it called when a blonde blows in another blond's ear?
Data transfer.
What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
She moved.
What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A blonde parade.
Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?
They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.
Blonde 1: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"
Blonde 2: "No, who wrote it?"
A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie". The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"
Three blondes were walking through the desert when found a magic genie's lamp. It said, "I will grant three wishes, one for each of you." The first said, "I wish I were smarter". So she became a redhead. The second blonde said "I wish I were smarter than her." She became a brunette. The third blond said "I wish I were smarter than both of them." So she became a man.
And because you were pacient enough and read all that jokes, here is a joke about brunettes:
Why brunettes tell jokes about blondes ?
Because they don't have anything better to do saturday night.