The Ultimate List of Pick-Up Lines to use on Engineers
1. I won't stop bugging you until I get the address of your home page.
2. You fascinate me more than the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus.
3. Since distance equals velocity times time, let's let velocity and time
approach infinity, because I want to go all the way with you.
4. My love for you is like a concave up function because it is always
increasing.
5. Let's convert our potential energy to kinetic energy.
6. Wanna come back to my room? ...and see my 166mhz Pentium?
7. How about you and I go back to my place and form a covalent bond?
8. You and I would add up better than a Riemann sum.
9. You're sweeter than glucose.
10. We're as compatible as two similar Power Macintoshes.
11. Why don't we measure the coefficient of static friction between you
and me?
12. Wanna see the programs in my HP-48GX?
13. Your body has the nicest arc length I've ever seen.
14. Isn't your e-mail address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com
15. You're hotter than a bunsen burner set to full power!
And now, a little story:
An engineer took a cruise to the Caribbean. It was wonderful;the
experience of his life. But, alas, a hurricane came up unexpectedly and
the ship went down. He was swept onto the shore of an island. No people,
no supplies, nothing.
He explored but found nothing other that some bananas and coconuts. He
was desperate and forlorn, but what could he do? For the next four months
ate bananas, drank coconut juice and looked for a ship to come to his
rescue.
One day, he spotted a rowboat coming from what looked like the other side
of the island. In it was a gorgeous woman: She was tawny and tanned, and
her hair flowing in the breeze gave her an ethereal quality.
When she reached him, he asked excitedly, "where did you come from?How
did you get here?"She said, "I rowed from the other side of the island.
My cruise ship sank four months ago." "Amazing," he said, "I didn't know
anyone else had survived. How many of you are there? You are really lucky
that a rowboat washed up with you."
There is no one else--only me," she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash
up. I built it out of raw material I found on the island. The oars I whittled
from gum tree branches, I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the
sides and stern came from an eucalyptus."
"But--but," asked the man, "What did you use for tools?"
"Oh, no problem," replied the woman, "On the south side of the island
there is a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock. I found that if I fired
it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable iron.
But enough of that," she said. Where do you live?"
The man confessed he had been sleeping on the beach. "Let's row over to
my place," she said. So they got into the rowboat and left for her side of
the island. The woman tied up the rowboat with a beautifully woven hemp
rope. They walked up a stone walk to an exquisite bungalow. "It's not
much," she said, "but I call it home. Would you like a drink?" "No," he
answered, "One more coconut juice and I will puke." "I have a still,"
said the woman, "How about a Pina Colada?"
Trying to hide his amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on her
couch. After a while, the woman asked, "Tell me, have you always had a
beard?" "No," the man replied, "I was clean shaven all my life."
"Well, if you would like to shave, there is a razor in the cabinet in the
upstairs bathroom."
The man, no longer questioning anything, went to the bathroom. In the
cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle, two shells honed to an edge
were fastened to its end inside of a swivel mechanism. The man shaved,
showered and went back downstairs.
"You look great," she said. "I think I will slip into something more
comfortable."After a short time, she returned wearing strategically
positioned fig leaves and smelling faintly of gardenia. "Tell me," she
asked, "We have both been out here for a very long time with no
companionship. Have you been lonely? Is there anything that you miss?
Something that all men and women crave? Something that would be really
nice to have right now?"
"Yes there is," the man replied, and moved closer to her. "Tell me --
Do you have an internet connection?"